impulsive writing

Checklist

Poltergeist or Ghosts
Meron at inoon pa nila yung fire alarm ng 4:30am

Head of House
Heheh meron sa bawat area

Head Master
Hayz…Hindi ko naman matawag na Dumbledore

Enchanted Spell
Oo naman there’s a spell put on the grounds di nga siya mukhang ********
Minister of Magic
Hmmm may mas magaling pa sa kanya

Mrs Norris and Filch ahah
hahaha sobrang meron sa baba sila. Parang sa dungeons!

Creepy I was dreaming (yes I slept that deep) and I saw a patient come up to me. It felt so real but I opened my eyes and no one was there. I couldn’t remember what the patient looked like. It felt so weird. A few moments later. I woke up to a boistering sound. It felt like a cold slap to the face.  The fire alarm was ringing and it wasn’t letting up. I was groggy at first and it took a few moments for me to gather my wits and rush to the private rooms to check on my patients. MAN! All my fellow nurses also woke up with a flourish. Though most memorable was how the staff woke-up. She woke-up with the least of grace and started panicking. It seemed like we in our area were the only one’s in an alert mode. To the right they stared at us like we were freaks and to the front they seemed absolutely benign. How weird is that!

Now come the rumours about who rang it. The Lab technician claims that somebody at the first floor set the alarm. It happens occassionally. Hmm I suppose we could blame the house poltergeist for that.

Words of comfort do nothing to ease the pain…

Just stop talking

Count the leaves

Six leaves fall of the tree

Together they travel

As their futures unravel

One to the East

Another to the West

Still the other to the North

One more to the South

And of the two?

They went back you see

And have returned

To the mother tree

Of the six, only two remain

This does nothing to ease the pain

Come back, come back

Come stay with me

Six leaves of the same branch

Come back to me

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Imagine coming back to duty and finding out that almost everything has changed. You could swallow that change easily but everything so far has changed for the worst. I’m whinning because I’m going back to the ward where I came from. Blame it all on male preference!. Man its so unfair. I just try to think that I have successfully retained almost all of my groupmates and that the next duty days no matter how slow they may rattle on will be bearable and at some point enjoyable. I had a vision of where we would be assigned the first time we were placed on duty in the hospital. Ah! yes I’ve been bitter the entire day yesterday and with the maturity that drags itself onwards, no matter how slow. I’ve come to swallow the bitter bitter pill that its back to OB ward, ambulatory with all the bitterness in the world. So far my sense of humor hasn’t let up. It has helped me get through. Others have been assigned to special areas. CRAP! Guess its difficult if you’re not special especially in the eyes of the boss.

Kübler-Ross Stages of Grief: (Yes I am grieving because I lost something…a priviledge to be assigned to the special area)

DENIAL

ANGER

BARGAINING

BITTERNESS (my insert)

DEPRESSION

ACCEPTANCE

This a photograph of San Fabian Beach on a sunny day. Far cry from what it was like during my family mishap adventure.

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I remember the time when we went to the beach on the most unorthodoxed of situations. Perhaps one of the good things about a president that declares consecutve holidays is the time you get to spend with your family.

Tomorrow? Go to the beach tomorrow. No my aunt wouldn’t hear it. We’re leaving for the beach today, this instant! I stared at her, unbelievingly almost in a mortified fashion. That’s right you heard me. Stop staring at me like what I’m saying is improbable..No..Impossible! But, I stammered. What about the food. The preparations, look at the clock its 10 am and we’ll be arriving there at around 11, the sun is so hot. It’ll burn us and we have to leave by 2pm and be home by 3-4pm because I have some place to go. Do you want to go to the beach? Or not? I flinched and I knew that there was no way I was winning this argument. And if you don’t win an argument, you back down gracefully.

Right then and there it was decided that we’d go. We moved like ants to pack everything we needed. And before you could believe it, it was done. We were on the road to the beach. Unplanned,unorthodoxed and impulsive. There are costs to such decisions but sometimes the outcomes can also be rewarding.

As soon as we got there, we rented a hut and started to grill, cook and boil whatever we were able to stuff into our bags. Surprsingly enough, it wasn’t as shockingly warm as I’d predicted. There were a few clouds and the sky wasn’t as radiantly Sapphire as on warm summer days. What the heck it wasn’t summer anyway.

After cooking a few hotdogs, I got the itch to run towards the sea, as my cousins were all prancing around in the water like horses. All except of course one who had the mike of the videoke in her hand, and was to belting out like an singer on a concert in Araneta. No, I’m not complaining, her voice is pleasant enough. And that is not the reason why I ran head first into the water to join my prancing cousings.

After an hour or so, the sky started to dim and I knew what was coming. Yes, there was a storm brewing and the brew started to hit my face. It was a bearable situation at first, until it turned it started to feel like cold and heavy slaps hitting my face. Then the sea started to become wild and turbulent. And we all knew it was time to get out of the water.

We did head to the hut just to run back out as it started to flood inside. We dug in front of the hut to make the sand level lower so that water flow out. And this would all be pure genius if it weren’t for the fact that the sand that we dug out and threw to the side, kept falling back into the pit we were digging. Then there was the sky heavily slapping down on you. I tell you, this was the first time that it felt painful to be rained on.

I paused from digging and turned to look at the sea. Then I saw it. It was angry and wild but it was a beautiful and wondrous sight. The sea was lashing out with large waves and the sky was beating hard on it. It was poetic. It was like one of those old Japanese paintings of the sea. Now, I could understand how such artists could fathom to paint such. There was no fear only wonder, only surprise as something so calm and soothing could turn into such a menace.To this I add to Gandhi on his declaration that humanity is like the ocean. “The sea is like a woman, warm, generous and comforting but cold, cruel and violent as well. To love her would be doom because there is no turning back. To love her would be foolish and men are fools.”

Then the sea became calm and resembled nothing of the majestic turbulence that was an hour ago. We all rushed back to it like prancing horses again. After checking that the water in the hut had subsided. We stole one of the black rubber floaters that resembled a truck wheel and all clung to it as we paddled further out to sea. We got so far out that the first sign of alarm was being unable to touch the seabed with our feet then the second alarm was turning around to see one of the small fishing boats behind us. It was that deep. The fisherman in the boat warned us to cling to the floater and head back closer to shore being the experienced man of the sea that he is, I suppose.

Then as we were heading back we saw birds diving sharply into the waves and flying back up with fish in their mouths. It was another interesting sight that could not be captured on camera. The white bird dived in beak first, like a sharply falling arrow, in an absolute vertical line to meet the sea perpendicularly. You could actually hear the white bird slapping into the water. Fearless, absolutely fearless.

A few more hours of floating senselessly in the sea and my mom started waving from a far. It was time to walk back to shore and pack. It was time to head home.

Things learned:

Spontaneity has its price but it also has its rewards.
And that day was very rewarding. The reward was the break from all the routine, pressures and expectations of the world. Its nice to be reminded that there is more to life. And you can have more just by being on a ride to the sea at 10 am.

The white birds dive in beak first, fearless, determined and sure. Their grace, skill and courage are all something to be admired. Some things in life should be met in the same manner, like this trip to the sea. No regrets this whole day was beautiful.

“There should be a pill to make love go away!” – Women, Meg Ryan

To make him stop wanting me and make you love me.

Its been  a long time aspiration to visit Japan. I could start with the temples and it would always end with a picnic under the Cherry Blossom trees beside the riverbank. This was hugely influenced by my love for anime especially Rurouni Kenshin. In the animated episodes there would always be a scene  where the characters would be sipping tea and eating dumplings or sweets. Then there were also the expensive looking kimonos and the lovely ladies that wore them. And I so wanted to experience the calmness offered by the tea ceremony and glamour of the kimonos. I would be so amazed by the richness of Japanese culture projected by anime, that it would be paramount to not just visit it, but to really be a part of it.

I would  have sketches inside my notebook or on random pieces of paper, depicting  animated characters, always in kimonos.  Then the pop culture really settled in, when my friends and I would start conversing and cursing in Japanese. We had our own world, back in highschool. The only thing missing then would be the COSPLAY or crossdressing as anime characters. Ah yes this was the center of my world. Then, I could probably be considered an OTAKU. This was until of course I graduated from highschool, and then my Japanese pop culture lessened to be replaced by more, so much more. Japan wasn’t my only aspiration it just became a part of a list.

Tea Ceremony
Kimono

Ponyo or Gake no ue no Ponyo, is the latest from Hayao Miyazaki. US release was last August 19, 2009. (I wonder when the Philippine release will be?) Its a story closely related to Hans Christian Andersen’s Little Mermaid. Although,this time our heroine is a goldfish.
Ponyo